University. To go? Not to Go? That Debate.

This post has been a long time coming and was inspired by the chat I had with a friend at college. People are often surprised when I inform them I've graduated university with a BA in Hospitality, and how I decided to go back to college. Yes, I've done my years and I am richer for the experience.

But I'll let you in on a secret, I did not go to university for the right reasons. My decision was prompted not because I was unsure what to do with myself, or because I'm super passionate about business and cooking.

It was to prove a point. I can admit that now.

I felt that I had to prove to the world, that I could do the university thing. That I could make it through the studying and come out with a great achievement. I did it to prove to myself that I could get through to the other side.
That sounds very shallow and yeah, it is. But that was my thinking at the time. Even though I did perhaps go for the wrong reasons, I came out learning the right life lessons:

• I came out learning more about business, including how much fodder human resources can be at times.
• I have learnt that when working as a group there will always be one member, at least one, who does nothing and will still get the same credit for you and your groups hard work. They know who they are and the fact is, they don't give a crap. Try to deal with it maturely. People like this will confront you in all aspects of life and will always get found out in the end. Trust me, they get hated for it and people will purposely avoid them because of this trait.
• I've met lots of people, but only a select few you stay with you in your heart.
• I've drunk some ridiculous concoctions at uni. End of.
• I learnt that my goal is to open my own business, doing what I love (which is baking and cooking...duh...).
• Balancing a job and university work is bloody hard. But really shows to future employers that you can manage your time well. Oh and the extra money isn't that bad either.  
• I learnt to open up my heart again, starting dating and so, fell in love. (3 and 1/2 years later, we're still in love. Awww.... ok Chick flick moment over).  

I have learnt more than I can list. It was all thanks to that shallow decision that turned my life into something positive. That's my rhyme and reason for going to university. I'm so grateful that I went to uni and that the whole experience was worth it, hard, but worth it.

So to go? Not to go? Its a big decision for everyone. With tuition fees higher then ever and employers not hiring graduates because their 'too over qualified', its made the decision even harder. The fees were at a high set price when I applied and so ,it was a natural move. Now students have to pay crazy fees that will be with them for a long portion of their lives. Its not a light decision to make, so I've rounded up some of my friends and family thoughts and feelings on going/not going to uni. These are REAL responses from REAL people, that I REALLY know... REALLY!:

Leanne's advice: "Join a club and meet people!"

Dan (didn't want to go to uni): "Cause I is thick as f**k" 
I dig your honesty Dan.

"Mad" Max's advice (went to uni): "Go on a place and meet people"

Chloe B (Didn't want to go to uni): "I'm too stupid. Being deado serious here."

Ann (Never had the chance to go to uni): "I never had the chance to go to university. I was never good enough. My family was more important to me. I still stand by that decision."

Rob (Uni goer and still studying): "I went for a fresh start and to enhance my career." and his advice: "If something is offered to you. Give it a go. I'll never play OctoPush again, but I gave it a go."

Claudiu's (went to uni) advice: "Experience life abroad and meet people."

Chloe C (Studying at the moment): "University is the best experience of my life! Eyeryone should go! (And at college I never wanted to) so I'm a complete convert."

Emma (Studying at uni too): "I would say don't go just because you feel you have to...if you can find an apprenticeship/internship in the field you want to go into that would ideally be better and cost less. [University]...has been stressful at the start... but starting to settle in now and enjoy it more...but still wish I was more active in looking at other options." Her advice: "Be prepared for people who bullshit...A LOT. Not everyone is sane."

I want to thank all of you who contributed and helped me write this article. I hope this post has raised a point with some readers and has made you think.
Did you go to uni? What advice have you got? Why didn't you go to uni? Let me know what you think

Penny's Top Ten Tips #8 Living with the Other Half

Its that time of week again. TOP TIP TIME! Since me and Rob have finally moved in and we've settled down, it makes sense that we should do some hints on living with the other half.

1. There will be surprises-
Good and bad surprises that is. You'll learn that you both have odd habits, that you may be grossed out by, but fear not there will be good surprises too. I learnt that Rob can really cook an amazing pasta bake, which surprised me because I thought he couldn't cook (Sorry darling! I know you can :3)  

2. Bottling up is never a good idea-
We've both learnt that bottling up any comments or feelings is not a good idea. In any situation, just say what you feel, even if it upsets the other person. Its better in the long run to say how you feel rather then bottle it up and snap later.

3. Make date night important-
One day or one evening, just for the two of you. I know its a cliché, but setting aside one day for both of you to escape everyday life and to keep the romance alive.

4. Cherish each moment together-
Rob and I don't spend masses of time together, its not because we can't be bothered but we both work really hard. Its difficult even to work in our date nights. When we eat dinner or just watch TV we really make little moments we spend together count.

5. Learn how to communicate clearly-
If you have something to ask say it in a clear and effective manner to avoid arguments. Example: Rob: "Do you want the last cupcake?"
(I do want the last cupcake) Penny: "Erm... I don't mind..."
Rob: "Ok I eat it *nom*"
Penny: "Ahh!! I wanted that!!"
Rob: "But you didn't say..."

6. Help each other-
Whether its housework or cooking, its a team effort. You really  need to help each other out by not letting one person carry the weight.

7. Be extremely patient-
I'm sure that you and your partner have different personalities. You must have some idea of what their like already (hopefully if you've been dating for a while). Its getting used to seeing them, all the time, 24 hours a day, without a break. It will take time and patience when you move in. Even when the kitchen is left in a state... your partner may not feel that keeping the place tidy is important. You need to calmly say that its not acceptable to left the kitchen in a messy state and it would mean a lot if it was left clean. Rather then blew up over it, be patient and clear.

8. Personal Space-
Just because you live together doesn't mean that have to spend every moment together. You'll need your own time, to do your own thing-to keep you sane! For example, I blog and I bake a lot on my own. Meanwhile, Rob plays video games for some 'me time' (at the moment he's playing Shadow of Mordor, which looks like a pretty epic game). The message is that you'll enjoy each others company more, when you spend time apart. You know the old saying: "Absence makes the heart grow fonder".

9. Get a Hobby!-
While me and Rob do our own thing. When we have an hour to spend together we go to the cinema or we watch a TV series together (Its the Walking Dead at the moment). We've found a hobby together which we means we spend more time together and as a bonus we do something fun together!

10. Leave the frustration outside the front door-
When you leave work, mentally leave it. After a hard day at university, leave it at university and don't bring the frustrations home with you as that frustration can be taken out on your partner.

Life lesson, Job hunting, Motivation and Inspiration.

Its funny how inspiration hits you just at the right time.

I know its been awhile since I've posted but I've been in between moving from London, back to the Isle of Wight. Its been hard because I'm leaving my friends and family behind along with my crazy work colleagues which are always a pleasure to work with.
You guys made the day go so much faster with laughter and jokes. I really looked forward to work because you were there to make the day brighter.

So about the inspiration thing. I believe in signs all around us (not the film or aliens or those crop circle things). We're often so absorbed in our mobile phones or getting from one place to the other, that we don't take the time to notice the signs that the universe has to give us. 

I'm blah blah blahing about this because I've had 2 weeks of learning about how life's little signs can inspire and motivate.

To start with 2 weeks ago, I had an interview for a bakery/coffee shop/cool vintage shop and I was successful! So that interview turned into a trail shift and for 6 and 1/2 hours I worked to the best of my abilities. The job was making coffees, teas, serving customers and a little baking. Baking was the magic word for me! 

I really enjoyed the trail shift and the owners were pleasant to work with. When asking for feedback they said: "We'll email you with the details by the end of next week."

One week and 3 days went by and still nothing. That week was the longest week in the world. I was waiting for what seemed like an eternity. Anyone who has been through the job waiting process, it's not a nice one is it?  

So I thought that I would email to say that I was going to drop by if she wasn't too busy, I thought that it would should that I'm really keen and enthusiastic. No Reply 

The very next day I went for it, I went into the bakery/coffee shop/cool vintage shop so that I could stop being in limbo. 

I go in, and before I can even finish my "Hello, How are you?"

The owner said: "I'll email you next week, Penny. We've been busy." 

Thrown off and deflated, I muttered "Oh ok. I'll hear from you when you get the chance. Thanks and see you soon."

I walked away flat and very unwanted. 

Now I'm not going to be so unprofessional that I'm going to name the place. But I do feel that it was unprofessional, that I didn't get an honest direct answer. It's bad business sense to mess people around about like that. If I wasn't good enough for the job: Tell me in an email, on the phone or even when I finished my trail shift. But I suppose that's the way life goes sometimes, they got a free day's work out of me and I got a life lesson: If it's too good to be true, often it is.

Moving back to now, I've been CV-ing it to many places on the IOW trying to lick my wounds and determined to find a summer job. I have had another 2 interviews, 1 trail shift and another trail shift to come. I got a job- Hold your yay's and congratulations. I started out doing the trail shift and I'm not sure what happened because all of a sudden, I got drafted. Officially I got the job, but I don't want to sound ungrateful but it was a huge step down for me. I so desperately wanted to learn new skills in baking or learn something completely different. 

So now I'm at the next hurdle. I'm stuck in a job that I've done before, using none of my epic baking skills and is making me- unhappy and very flat. (That btw is a great title for a TV show. EPIC BAKING SKILLS!) 

Ok, after that long story, I'm coming back to the motivation and inspiration thing. See I told you it was linked in there didn't I? I went out in the blazing sunshine for a drive, on my day off my drafted work and was contemplating what to do. I was having a mental argument with myself!

Should I jack this job in? 

That means no money coming in for 6 weeks. 

That's true. Better stick with it. 

But it's doing nothing for your career, it's the same job but with different people. What about your amazing pastry dream?

Also true, Ok I'm done with it! It's not making me happy so that's the end of it!

But that means you've failed in sticking down a proper job. What's wrong with you? You're an absolute failure. 

Now this is where I nearly chocked, failure is not a word I get along with. In fact the meaning and word makes my toes curl with rage. I don't flop, I fail. I don't mess up, I fail. I don't make mistakes, I fail. 

That's one of my biggest downfalls, being too hard on myself. Of course, I make mistakes and yes I do mess it up, everyone does. That's what makes us human. 

My first sign came in the form of an already read email from Cheryl who writes Make Me Joyful, which I accidentally got up on my mobile. The line that struck me was this:

"Persistently dwelling on the disappointments or the frustrations or the things we lack won't give us the happiness that we seek."

I chose to ignore this as I was still fretting what to do, or what people will think of me and about a thought away from complete and utter panic. 

The second sign, I had to stop off in a couple of touristy shops with the guests I have staying over and one lady in a flower shop was happily busying herself when I commented on how lovely the shop was. She replied:

"It's hard work and the hours can be bothersome at times. But it's my pride and brings me so much joy that I can't think of any better job."

The shop was her's and she  worked on her own and is trying to build her flower shop from the ground up and I tell you what, it was like lightening struck me. This little voice in my head perked up finally and went:

Is what your doing at this job, this second, right now, making you happy?

Well, no.

Then fix it.

See it's funny how inspiration can hit you at the most funniest of times. I think my next little life lesson is: Try taking a step back to observe the big picture to catch those signs. 

For now folks, I'm going to have to posted on my next move.

Bake On!