Life lesson, Job hunting, Motivation and Inspiration.

Its funny how inspiration hits you just at the right time.

I know its been awhile since I've posted but I've been in between moving from London, back to the Isle of Wight. Its been hard because I'm leaving my friends and family behind along with my crazy work colleagues which are always a pleasure to work with.
You guys made the day go so much faster with laughter and jokes. I really looked forward to work because you were there to make the day brighter.

So about the inspiration thing. I believe in signs all around us (not the film or aliens or those crop circle things). We're often so absorbed in our mobile phones or getting from one place to the other, that we don't take the time to notice the signs that the universe has to give us. 

I'm blah blah blahing about this because I've had 2 weeks of learning about how life's little signs can inspire and motivate.

To start with 2 weeks ago, I had an interview for a bakery/coffee shop/cool vintage shop and I was successful! So that interview turned into a trail shift and for 6 and 1/2 hours I worked to the best of my abilities. The job was making coffees, teas, serving customers and a little baking. Baking was the magic word for me! 

I really enjoyed the trail shift and the owners were pleasant to work with. When asking for feedback they said: "We'll email you with the details by the end of next week."

One week and 3 days went by and still nothing. That week was the longest week in the world. I was waiting for what seemed like an eternity. Anyone who has been through the job waiting process, it's not a nice one is it?  

So I thought that I would email to say that I was going to drop by if she wasn't too busy, I thought that it would should that I'm really keen and enthusiastic. No Reply 

The very next day I went for it, I went into the bakery/coffee shop/cool vintage shop so that I could stop being in limbo. 

I go in, and before I can even finish my "Hello, How are you?"

The owner said: "I'll email you next week, Penny. We've been busy." 

Thrown off and deflated, I muttered "Oh ok. I'll hear from you when you get the chance. Thanks and see you soon."

I walked away flat and very unwanted. 

Now I'm not going to be so unprofessional that I'm going to name the place. But I do feel that it was unprofessional, that I didn't get an honest direct answer. It's bad business sense to mess people around about like that. If I wasn't good enough for the job: Tell me in an email, on the phone or even when I finished my trail shift. But I suppose that's the way life goes sometimes, they got a free day's work out of me and I got a life lesson: If it's too good to be true, often it is.

Moving back to now, I've been CV-ing it to many places on the IOW trying to lick my wounds and determined to find a summer job. I have had another 2 interviews, 1 trail shift and another trail shift to come. I got a job- Hold your yay's and congratulations. I started out doing the trail shift and I'm not sure what happened because all of a sudden, I got drafted. Officially I got the job, but I don't want to sound ungrateful but it was a huge step down for me. I so desperately wanted to learn new skills in baking or learn something completely different. 

So now I'm at the next hurdle. I'm stuck in a job that I've done before, using none of my epic baking skills and is making me- unhappy and very flat. (That btw is a great title for a TV show. EPIC BAKING SKILLS!) 

Ok, after that long story, I'm coming back to the motivation and inspiration thing. See I told you it was linked in there didn't I? I went out in the blazing sunshine for a drive, on my day off my drafted work and was contemplating what to do. I was having a mental argument with myself!

Should I jack this job in? 

That means no money coming in for 6 weeks. 

That's true. Better stick with it. 

But it's doing nothing for your career, it's the same job but with different people. What about your amazing pastry dream?

Also true, Ok I'm done with it! It's not making me happy so that's the end of it!

But that means you've failed in sticking down a proper job. What's wrong with you? You're an absolute failure. 

Now this is where I nearly chocked, failure is not a word I get along with. In fact the meaning and word makes my toes curl with rage. I don't flop, I fail. I don't mess up, I fail. I don't make mistakes, I fail. 

That's one of my biggest downfalls, being too hard on myself. Of course, I make mistakes and yes I do mess it up, everyone does. That's what makes us human. 

My first sign came in the form of an already read email from Cheryl who writes Make Me Joyful, which I accidentally got up on my mobile. The line that struck me was this:

"Persistently dwelling on the disappointments or the frustrations or the things we lack won't give us the happiness that we seek."

I chose to ignore this as I was still fretting what to do, or what people will think of me and about a thought away from complete and utter panic. 

The second sign, I had to stop off in a couple of touristy shops with the guests I have staying over and one lady in a flower shop was happily busying herself when I commented on how lovely the shop was. She replied:

"It's hard work and the hours can be bothersome at times. But it's my pride and brings me so much joy that I can't think of any better job."

The shop was her's and she  worked on her own and is trying to build her flower shop from the ground up and I tell you what, it was like lightening struck me. This little voice in my head perked up finally and went:

Is what your doing at this job, this second, right now, making you happy?

Well, no.

Then fix it.

See it's funny how inspiration can hit you at the most funniest of times. I think my next little life lesson is: Try taking a step back to observe the big picture to catch those signs. 

For now folks, I'm going to have to posted on my next move.

Bake On!